u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
