She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
