Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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