Kiss
Puke
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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