Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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