Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
