Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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