he puts the penis in happiness.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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