This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I need to calm my uterus...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
