the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He did a backflip because drugs
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