I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
