Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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