I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
