so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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