It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
