And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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