Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
