dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
