Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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