So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
