im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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