I need help removing her.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
