So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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