I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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