So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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