Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
