I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
