I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
