Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
