he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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