Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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