It's Friday. Sex?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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