Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
