The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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