Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
