jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
