Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
