using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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