i think i have two assholes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
