I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
