Duck Duck Cougar?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
