the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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