Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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