Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
