I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
