I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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