So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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