My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
