I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
