Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
