Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
