i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
