That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
